My staff learns English

As lovely as the Dari and Pashto languages are, it is important for the staff of the Media and Communications Directorate to be able to converse in English (especially during wartime with so many foreign journalists running around). To this end, I have hired an English teacher to come in and train the staff three times a week. Here is a snapshot of their first lesson:
(the scene)
The teacher puts a label on each student's back with an animal.
The mission is for each student to figure out what animal they are by asking, in English, yes or no questions about themselves.
(the conversation between two of the students)
Gity: "Do I eat water?"
Abbas: "Yes."
Gity: "I am fish!"
Abbas: "No."
Gity: "I am fish! I eat water!"
(Teacher interrupts to explain that one drinks water, not eats water. They resume.)
Gity: "Do I drink water?"
Abbas: "Yes."
Gity: "I am fish!"
Abbas: "No."
Gity: "I am fish! I drink water!"
((Abbas looks at the teacher unsure of what to do since Gity is quite convinced she is a fish, and Abbas doesn't want to offend her.))
This goes on for another 10 minutes before Gity finds out that she is a chicken.