Roughing it

I admit that after living in Afghanistan, the idea of roughing it in the wilds of Africa slightly concerned me. After all, I had promised myself at least a 5 year reprieve of sleeping in a sleeping bag and using ad hoc toilets. Then I got to Ishasha Wilderness Camp. The area of Ishasha is known for tree lions which are really just regular lions who like to climb trees. Most lions do it, but this area has the best trees (acacia and fig) for the lions to rest in.

The camp has nine tents and can handle between 20-25 people. The only rule is once the sun sets and it is dark, you need to be walked back to your tent with an armed guard and stay in your tent until daybreak. It is the price you pay for sleeping in the wild. This said, the staff wakes you in the morning with free brewed coffee (tent-service) and the caretakers of the camp (a lovely Rhodesian/Zimbabwean couple named Dave and Karen) made the most delicious walnut cookies I have ever tasted. You have to use bottled water for everything and the idea of internet is laughable. Although, as an aside, a few months ago, Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen stayed here with his posse (they arrived via helicopters), and for the two days they spent here, they wired most of this tiny portion of Uganda. Their helicopters also scared off the elephants for nearly two weeks after their departure. As for the accommodations, I will let the pictures speak for themselves (needless to say, I would do more camping if more camping where like this).

Plus, it's Africa, so it was too hot to need a sleeping bag.

It's not UGAYnda

Uganda recently passed an anti-domestic violence bill which (finally) protects women from their abusive husbands. On the heels of this progressive move, Parliament also drafted a bill which would criminalize homosexuality. Not only would homosexuals be fined, jailed or worse (and how do you go about proving it?), but their family members would also be held liable for accepting them. This draft passed Parliament and is heading to the President for his sign off. Should he agree with the draft, Parliament would officially draw up the measure and presumably vote it through. What seems counter intuitive to me about this measure is that it is perfectly acceptable to see grown men holding hands with one another as they walk down the street, so I assume the government doesn't mind if "friends" do it, they just don't want it to be boyfriends or girlfriends. Why can't we all just be friends and call it a day?

Gorillas in my midst

I travelled to the Congo-Uganda border to penetrate the Bwindi Impenetrable Forrest. Uganda says that they have the most remaining mountain gorillas in the world and most of them live here at Bwindi. For years, and as Dian Fossey found out the hard way, mountain gorillas were poached, but not for anything collectible. The mountain locals (many of whom are pygmies) killed them either for bush meat or killed them because they are a symbol of "bad luck." While the government of Uganda continues to try to get its act together, the one area that they do seem committed to is the preservation of the mountain gorilla. They only allow 24 permits a day to visit Bwindi and of those visiting, you have to clear a doctor's check list in order to go (as gorillas can contract any number of human diseases). If you are turned back, you have travelled however thousands of miles, see no gorillas, and only get a 40% refund of your permit fee. Bottom line, don't get sick!

We began our trek up the dense mountain in the morning after learning what we needed to in a pre-trek briefing (most of which you can read about in a previous post). There were 8 people in my group, along with various porters (who help carry your bags and push you up the mountain), two mountain guides and two armed men from the Ugandan Army. The Army personnel carry AK-47s in case something bad were to happen (if a tourist is killed by a gorilla, the feeling is that business will suffer), but they have been trained to first shoot in the air to scare off the impending attack.

My porter was Milton and he is 24 years old and has lived in Bwindi his entire life. I didn't really think I needed a porter, but once I saw the grade I would be climbing, the muddied and overgrown path (and because it helps out the local economy for a price of $15), I relented. A few hours before we started our trek, two trackers went up before us to visit the last place this gorilla group was. We were going to find a family of 19 gorillas with one silverback. Recently there were two silverbacks, but they got into a fight and one ran off with a couple of females to start his own group. After about 3 hours of hiking we heard via walkie-talkie that the trackers had the family in their sights and we made a bee-line through a swampy area to get to them. I am finding it difficult to put into words how amazing it is to see these animals just hanging around being a family together. Babies rough housing and rolling around together and then scampering off into their mother's arms, females tending to the mighty silverback (who never looked directly at us but you could sense he was aware of our every move), and younger males eating pounds of leaves. Gorillas will consume anywhere from 130-170 pounds of greenery each day.

After staying with the gorillas for an hour (the max one is allowed), and through a rain storm (gorillas do not frolic in the rain, but prefer to wait it out in the thick underbrush), my group made its decent. It truly was a once in a life time opportunity and I am grateful I got the chance. I am almost embarrassed to be blogging about it as I can do it no justice. Forgive me.

Gorilla etiquette

When faced with mountain gorillas, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Never look a gorilla directly in the eye.
• Never mimic a gorilla. You don’t speak their body language and something as simple as an arm raise, might signal something more menacing.
• If you are sick, you shouldn’t visit with gorillas. They are so similar to us genetically, that they can contract our diseases and spread them rapidly throughout their family group.
• Don’t ever piss off the silverback. He’s in charge and will charge you if he feels he, or his family, is being threatened.
• Don’t approach gorillas using walking sticks as poachers once used them as spears, and that has remained in their collected memory. (Walking sticks by the way are highly recommended when tracking the gorillas as they tend to congregate is hard to reach (and very muddy) areas.)
• When filming gorillas, do not use flash as the bright flashes freak them out, and could anger the silverback.
• If you have already forgotten, don’t do anything to piss off the silverback. Think of the silverback as the most ornery, senior member of your family who believes that everything revolves around them. Now add a few hundred more pounds, a ferocious growl, razor sharp teeth and that’s your silverback.
• Don't wear eyeglasses (or sunglasses) that you care about. Gorillas are known to take things off you.
• Try to wear muted colors. Gorillas apparently don't like yellow, but as far as I can tell, this is only speculation.
• I mentioned the silverback, right?

Killer instincts

Should you decide to go on safari while in Uganda, or visit some of its more remote places, there are a couple of important animal facts you need to keep in mind. The number one killer of humans on land, is the buffalo.* While it won't eat you, it will impale you and toss you around like a rag doll. It is best to lie flat on the ground should you encounter one, and wait it out.

The number one killer of humans in the water, is the hippo. While these portly beasts don't look scary (with their mouths closed), they are exceptionally fast. If you visit Queen Elizabeth National Park (one of Uganda's biggest), you will see lions and leopards and crocodiles, but keep in mind that it's not the animal with the biggest teeth you need to fear the most. And for goodness sakes, stay out of the water!

* mosquitoes are technically the number one killer of humans.

Yummy?

One of my favorite Ugandan foods also appeals to my childish side. It is called doodo and it tastes similar to dandelion greens. It can be sauteed, baked, or fried, but my preference? A big, steaming plateful of doodo.